Camp Pendleton Mud Run - The Just Plain Ugly

The Just Plain Ugly:

Dehydration. I am not an athlete – not even close. I suffer from Adult-Onset-Athleticism and the effects of working with a trainer (Rick, Rick, Rick) who is part miracle worker and part Jedi Mind Trick Master. I have dealt with a weight problem, low-self esteem, depression and other demons virtually my whole life. It wasn’t until my late 30’s that I started feeling very Lara Croft Tomb Raider and decided to give this whole racing thing a shot as a hobby. A very demanding, time-consuming hobby.

That said, I have had a fortuitous intro into running and multi-sport events. I have read soooo many race reports about professional-level athletes who bonk; fail miserably; have hellacious race experiences; and generally crap out despite their life-long training and God-given abilities (and perhaps, HGH in some cases). Total racing horror stories.

Yet, I have been so blessed as to only experience minor racing discomforts (a minor injury here; the humiliating sound of my flabby thighs slapping together at top speeds; a heart rate that surpasses 190) and a ton of small victories over the past two years. I am 41 and could still stand to trade in 15 pounds of flab for more muscle, but nothing remotely horrific has happened to me on race day. Until Saturday.

Dehydration is one of the worst enemies of a runner or endurance athlete. Runners are told that once you feel thirsty, your body is already dehydrated. Dehydration can hospitalize your ass and possibly kill you.

Well, guess what I felt standing in the starting corral 10 minutes before the race start? Thirst and dry mouth. As I keep myself on the hydrated-plus side, this was a discomfort that I thought would be assuaged at the water station at mile 1.
We went out harder and faster than planned for mile 1. We might have been at a 7:57 pace – nothing that should have made me feel as crappy as I felt after mile 1. I wasn’t very pleased with my body, but I was determined to finish and thought a few ounces of water would fix everything.

By the time you feel thirsty, you’re already dehydrated…

Guess what I drank the entire trip to Pendleton? Coffee. What does coffee do other than possibly act as a performance enhancer? Dehydrate you!!! Guess who gave that no freakin’ thought whatsoever as she discarded her Arrowhead water in favor of coffee? Guess who was more freaked out about having to take a whiz on the race course, having to use stinky porta-potties and experiencing that oh-so uncomfortable sloshing feeling one can get from running with too much in the tummy? Guess who thought she thought she had her crapola nailed down by eating a relatively healthy pre-race dinner of scallops and rice and a breakfast of half a peanut butter sandwich sans a healthy dose of H20?

After mile 1, I’m having difficulty breathing and filling my lungs with air. I develop a side stitch – something that I have only felt once or twice before a couple years ago and sucks butt. The stitch eventually dissipates, but then the huge bloaty, uncomfortable pain sets in between my sternum and gut. I’ve become the turtle of team of jackrabbits which has the potential to humiliate the crap out of me, but I believe I will recover and finish after some walk breaks.

By the time you feel thirsty, it’s too freakin’ late . . .

Somewhere on a hill around mile 2.25 I start suspecting that dehydration could be the culprit to my sorry-ass performance. Again, I know I will finish. I put it out of my mind and try to walk it off. A quarter mile later – I experience one of the worst feelings a runner can have in 70+ degree heat – shuddering chills – and the realization that I’m not sweating as much as I normally do. Hell No! I’m not gonna be one of those sad sacks that gets carted down the hill in an ambulance. Cute Marines or not! I will not not finish a race! But I know this could be bad for me. Really bad. To my ever-growing disappointment, I take yet another walk break. And I tell no one about this except Gary . . . on the way home.

By the time you feel thirsty … You know happens to your heart rate when your body is dehydrated? It SKYROCKETS because it has to work harder to do even the simplest things. Dehydration can cause kidney and heart failure. Dehydration can lead to death. And if you live to tell the tale - the dehydration headache will be tougher and nastier than an overly-hilly race course. Trust me on this. The pain drove me to tears last night.